I work for a japanese company and since we are in US, about half is japanese and half is non-japanese. I've heard some Americans have complaints here and I had a chance to hear it on my own yesterday.
It just so happened that Japanese workers tend to get together on their own and they don't invite non-Japanese. For example, they all go out together to eat/drink; or someone has a private party and all Japanese are invited but not non-Japanese. Americans are not so happy about being excluded.
One American worker asked one Japanese worker why they were not invited, and this Japanese person answered it wrong. She explained that the company was not paying for a dinner; she was paying for herself. It sounded like Americans are cheap, equals they cannot afford paying for a dinner/drink so that's why they are not invited.
That is not the actual reason! I heard once from my boss (japanese) why they don't go out with Americans. It's because of the language. He told me he cannot have a good relaxing time if he had to speak English. Japanese workers (most of them) do not want to be forced to speak English outside of the office!!
I kinda understand that. For me, it was my decision to come to this country; but for most of japanese people working here, they were sent by the parent company. So they were forced to study/speak English... I can see why they do not want to use their head while having a good time eating/drinking...
But I also understand that we should not exclude Americans when having a party. That's discrimination!
So I come between those two groups. I am not on either side actually. But I hope that I can give American people a good reason why they were not invited... I'm not sure how much they understand how difficult for foreigners to communicate with language other than their own...
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Hello. My name is *K* and I just wanted to ask you where you live. I live in Niles, Michigan. Is that too personal to ask you? I was reading your weblog and it sounds like a place that I know. My email address is millorin@hotmail.com
I am going to Lake Michigan College. I feel pretty close whenever I see Japanese people. If I could hear from you, that would be great! Have a nice day.
Thanks for the post, K. I am not going to tell you where I live, just far from Niles...
I too kinda understand that they don't want English speaking people at the party when they are trying to relax after work.
I also think it is partly a cultural difference. I read a thought provoking theory in one of the cultural psychology books that states Japanese exclude non-members in order to show the loyalty to the group that they belong to. When I read that first time, I went, "whaaaat?!" but then I slowly recalled doing that myself before I got exposed to the American culture. Japanese identify themselves and their worth with the group they belong to, and it is very important for them to be accepted to the group. They show that they are committed to certain group and not others, and excluding non-members and show more support to members is one way to do so.
It's interesting that you say it is a discrimination to not invite certain people to a party. I think it is a very Americanized concept. For example, I can't picture Japanese claiming themselves to the parties they weren't invited, nor question why they weren't invited. It is understood that only close/special people get to be invited to any gatherings and if they weren't invited, they know they are still considered outsiders/non-members at that point, and let that go, or try harder to fit in.
I don't know if your company's case is the same with what I just said but I think maybe this cultural difference has little bit to do with it?
I personally like American way better where opportunities are tried to be passed out to all people equally and everyone gets to feel welcomed or included. Since I live in Japan, I had no choice but to learn to not impose what I believe on to majority of Japanese people, but I can see why Americans who live in the states view this as "wrong" and wish to change the way Japanese people are socializing comfortablly.
HOpe there's some solution to this matter and that two groups in your company learn each other's ways without too much misunderstandings...my fingers are crossed, Lothlorien!
Oh my god, I never thought that the japanese people are showing their loyalty by not including outsiders!!! It is really provoking! But that really makes sense. As Japanese, I was doing the same thing without understanding that concept. So I was not able to explain to other american. Language is not the only thing, but I believe that this cultural difference (i.e. the highest importance on group rather than individual for japanese) plays a huge role...
If I was told by american why they were not invited, I can tell them what you told me. They might be offended, by saying that they are outsides and not accepted. But they need to understand a bit of japanese culture since they are working for the one!
Thanks for letting me know this new concept, Tamakichi!!!
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